This morning my eyes are captured by this little boy on the shared list for special needs children. I called our agency for his file and we are given 48 hours to make a decision after discussing with DH.
Immediately I email his file to an international adoption doctor for advices. My mind won't be able to concentrate on my job today and I leave for home.
IA doctor calls me in the afternoon. I am told that he needs a long-term care and his development chart shows he is about 2-year-old, though he just had his 4th-birthday this month. I feel so sad and frightened when I heard what IA doctor's comments. My mind starts to picture watching his sufferings and helpless, his span of life will be shorter than a normal people. I am sobbing on the floor and I cry for God's help.
My mind starts to calm down and peace returns to me when I kneel down to pray. My heart begins to count God's blessings to me and my family. His marvelous works in my life overtake the fears I have. And God reminds me who is a life giver and who controls a person's life. I realized it is not about my feelings, it is about giving a needy child a forever home.
I begin to search his needs both in Chinese and English. My heart feels pain again when I read messages posted in Chinese web sites. Most parents with the same medical issue frequently asked a question is how much the cost for a surgery.
